I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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