have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
