who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize