its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
