I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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