they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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