So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
