so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Enjoy the penises
I have already put on my inside pants.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
