is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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