I just cut my nipple shaving
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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