I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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