the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
