Already got asked if we're dating
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
