Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
