i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
