My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
