we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize