Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
