so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
