used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
