Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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