I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
