Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
