it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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