I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
