I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Are we still banned from the library?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
