You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cut my penus on the lid.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
