i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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