Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
