apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
