I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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