She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just invented taco cereal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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