have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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