i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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