the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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