theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
