I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
