Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
