we have pet lesbian snakes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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