At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
