If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
