It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
