halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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