my vag is so smooth its legendary
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
