I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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