she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
