we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
