U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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