oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
