You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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