When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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