Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
