I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The ass gains better be worth it
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