Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
