Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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