she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
