found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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