i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
