i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
