woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He felt like a one man threesome
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
